FORGIVENESS IS A GIFT YOU GIVE YOURSELF

The Two Main Benefits of Using Forgiveness: Forgiveness is an act within your own imagination. It is realizing that your distress is coming from your own hurt feelings now and physical responses to being upset, not what offended you in the past. You have a choice to either continue with your negative feelings and unhappy attitude or reach deep inside yourself to find forgiveness.

Forgiveness works in two ways. One is by reducing the stress of being unforgiving. You may feel hostility or fearful or have hard feelings about another person. When you don’t forgive them, your blood pressure will increase and your immune system will be weaker. Forgiveness helps to normalize your blood pressure and make your health stronger. Confucius said, “If you devote your life to seeking revenge, first dig two graves.”

The second benefit of forgiveness is that you will have more friendships. When you have good relationships with family, friends, and neighbors, your social network will be strong and you will be happier.

What you Want is Peace: It is often difficult to forgive others for their mistakes. But you must do so for your own sake. You must learn to let go. This doesn’t mean that you excuse the other person. Although this is sometimes useful, you may not want to reconcile with them. Within yourself, you know you don’t condone their behavior.

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself so you can have peace about the situation and the other person, you can hurt less, and you can take this life experience less personally. When you can forgive another, you have personal power. The other person no longer has power over you - you now have power over yourself.

It is important to change your story about the grievance. Get another perspective on what happened. Look for what you learned in this experience. How are you different? How did you change? What knowledge did you gain? How can you be a better or more effective person because of this experience? What will you do differently in the future?

The other person does not need to apologize to you or change their ways. It would be great if they would come and talk to you and ask for your forgiveness. But you must accept the fact that not everyone will do this. The hurt you feel will not heal until you forgive. Forgiveness is finding peace inside yourself, and the other person cannot make you do this or stop you from doing this. The power lies only within your own mind and feelings.

When you forgive, you agree within yourself to overlook the offense. It means cutting them slack for what they did to you or another person. Commit to yourself that you will do whatever you need to do to feel better.

Focus on a Better Future: Instead of mentally replaying the hurt over and over again in your mind, focus on new ways to see life. Learn to look around you to see the love, beauty and kindness that is in your everyday life. Be grateful for those, and let others know you appreciate these qualities in them. Look for the good, and forgive what is not good.

Imagine a better future for yourself, one that is based on peace of mind and heart. Forgiveness allows you to have confidence that you can survive the pain and grow from it.

You may have to forgive every day. Don’t rush it. Recovering from wrongdoing that produces genuine forgiveness takes time. Focus on healing yourself. To forgive is often difficult. But it works.

It is also important to forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself helps you release guilt for things you have done or felt in the past. When you have been angry, bitter, hateful or full of resentment toward another person for doing something you feel is wrong, you can forgive yourself behaving badly or having these negative feelings. Forgiveness also allows you to set aside your thoughts that you must be perfect. You can recognize that you are human, just like the rest of us, and all of us do some things we regret.

Begin a New Day! It is possible for you to start a new life, to make healthy choices for yourself, and to let go of past hurts and resentments. It is no longer time to be obsessed with what happened before. Restore your faith in yourself and face a new day. This takes courage and helps you move forward in your life. Forgiveness is the key to your happiness.

When you forgive, you will have a sense of peace and well-being. Your anxiety and depression will be lifted. Your self-esteem is enhanced, and your hope about tomorrow is now here again. You will not be a prisoner of the past. You will be a liberated person at peace with your memories.